BCBR blow by blow
World Exclusive: Day by Day account of BCBR from the one and only Tony "McEnroe" Innes. He coined this particular nickname through the temper-tantrums directed at the poor roots frequenting the forests of British Columbia (anyone riding in group 2 will agree with me). The series includes a day by day account of the goings on in the 2014 BCBR. Buckle up and enjoy the ride:
Day 0: North Shore, PubDay zero was supposed to be rego only but sparty convinced me a course recon was a good idea.......nearly 3hrs 1200m of climbing I have concluded
2.Going over the handle bars onto rocks really really no really hurts
3.My blood seems to flow quicker in canada
4.An easier trail in BC is like the national downhill in Vegas
5. Whilst I might groan my teeth at least I don't give out random moans.....quite disturbing and we aren't even tenting yet!
Cutting to chase, event goals have changed considerably I now hope to finish day 1 and go from there!
Day 1: North Shore
Well what can you say, the shortest and most technical day, survived the technical but bonked with full body cramps like never before! Bodes well for the rest of the stages which are twice the length! Hard has a new meaning
Seeing sparty having to succumb to being chicked was not pleasant, I just hope he talks to me tomorrow!
On the plus side it should be noted that the gianti wasn't first to have a significant mechanical.
P.S it's ok to shed a tear when you have full body cramps with 3km to go
Day 2: Cumberland
Our first night alone in a tent, highlight was sparty with no thermarest, the look on his face when he saw the foam he had to sleep on....gold, closely followed but him considering 'leasing my thermarest for 10 mins, oh to be older and wiser. Lowlight being the Norwegian vikings next door who seemed to not need any sleep.
What did we learn today.....
1: going over the bars still hurts and continues to happy
2: swearing fuck off is understood by all nationalities
3: red bull Galway through a stage is a SUPERFOOD
4: you will try anything to stop cramping including drinking three times the recommended dosage of some cramp stop magnesium thing the course naturopath was peddling
5: today was much more manageable but still horrendously technical
6: a beer in the sun afterwards with you lily white guns out next to some Norwegian bold building can be humiliating, at least there was a Mexican smaller than me!
7: who would buy a specialised? Another trip to the really cheap bike mechanic anyone?
8: watching sparty get used to my place in the field, and therefore his is arguably one of the meanest and cruel things I've seen a grown man go through...he is a legend ( towed me up 20 spots on one short section of for brake today)
9: there needs to be an international sprint trophy..... And the in inaugural winner is the Lilly white guy in point 6 above!
Day 3: Powell River
Well after a horrendous transfer I'm realizing rest is key, many lessons today from Powell River, awesome location:
1. Trails here rock!
2. The beast was unleashed for the first 30km, enduro challenge here he comes!
3. Learnt a valuable rule sparty seems to live by, so whilst it's 35 degrees and canada also lacks an ozone layer, just because sparty has sunscreen doesn't mean it can be used as sparty rule nimber 2 kicks in - no other male is allowed to touch his skin, so with mild heat stroke today was fast but tough.
4. Highlight of day was last 3km TT to finish where sparty blew everyone away, passed three of out competition so epic effort, obviously took it out of him as yours truly claimed the glory on the line, oh yeah
4a. Trash talking is epic with American teams around us in particular, Spanish hate it when you yell libar libar ondelay ondelay as you pass them, priceless, sparty hangs his head in a combination of shame and disbelief
5. 7th on stage 2, 17th on stage 1, obviously not right, so another sparty life lesson learnt, he will not approach the stewards and have 17th place changed to a rightful 10th, apparently it's not real competition if you aren't winning....please, good thing I will, game on!
6. 2nd tent night and dispite stealing my side of the tent we survived, even with the most annoying French gimps next to us, the language of love it is not if you are tired
7. Kiwi boys mowed down the walk from the ferry to campsite passing all in their pAth to claim best camping spot ever!
Bring on tomorrow.
Day 4: Earls Cove
I write this hoping to still be able to function in the next few hours, lessons from today:
1: hey I know it's 40 degrees so let's delay the start till midday
2: bonking on day one turns out to be tame compared to bonking with 8km to go on a 15degree 4km long pinch climb! First time I started to think if I was going to finish an event........oh yeah and only the longest steepest enduro of the entire race afterwards!
3: it turns out red bull and two bananas consumed on 20 secs isn't that helpful
4: the beast smoke enduro again, currently second kiwi, can he take the top spot
5: after staying up and studying the course last night on of us knew the sprint would be determined by having the hole shot! Well after Moving to the front with 1.4km to go boom game over! 2-1 to the bonkster
6: apparently as we get to know our completion a bit better they consider me to be the heckling kiwi.....nothing wrong with some smack talk on the climbs
7: some Norwegian addonas is simply asking for an arm wrestle, game on tonight, I'm going to tire him out for sparty! If his shame allows him to turn up
8: sparty life lesson number 4, he hates being asked in company if he's getting any grinder hits here!
Day 5: Sechelt
Day 5 done and dust learning a from today include:
1: 1380m of climbing was supposed to be a quiet day, when 1000m is rooted single track that makes frontal labotomy look flat quiet day my arse
2: Norwegians very strong, too strong so have up the mental mind games, even sparty is getting in on the action and trying break them verbally and physically on the climbs
3: epic battle with Americans, oh how they love to talk smack on the trails, even as they pass or get passed
4: sparty life lesson number 5, alcohol swaps Heal everything, well seeing him cry as he applied to his saddle sore might suggest otherwise!
5: sparty offered to changed break pad 30mins before start, 10 mins before start with job done I have no rare break, nice!
6: sparty is a hit with the older Inuit ladies on the crew, as per the attached. Must be his sparkling personality
7: we have challenged the Norwegians to a roman Greco wrestling challenge in our bibs, Aussie also keen, so might be better than the Olympics, strategy is for me to tire them out whilst sparty does the damage in the later rounds
8: quote of the day.......I'll have the biggest sausage you have..
9: sprint score 3-1 after sparty judged there to not be enough room left on the line, but oh yeah there was, sit up at your peril my friend!
In Squamish tonight, sparty excited as beer tent?
Day 6: Squamish
Longest day today with massive 1800+m of climbing on single track, tiredness setting in, attached photo is BEFORE Start, man it was a tough day, lessons include:
1: best trails by far, enduro top 10 for sparty looking good
2: smoked sparty at Table Tennis, when will he learn!
3: Norwegians too strong today we might have dropped a spot on GC, attrition rate immense
4: beer garden a welcome relief, sparty is such a practical joker as per attached
5; spot prize day today but you have to win an event, after 28 unsuccessful attempts team NZ step up and deliver the goods, Innes hammered the left hand and walks him into a fence whilst sparty takes the victory......all with 100 people cheering as we battled........in thumbs wars, hilarious
6: you know u have a beard when it gets itchy, sparty's is an embarassment
7: sprint today was epic photo finish, yours truly boxed in nicely by sparty but came around but 2mm short! 3-2, game on for the decider
8: that's all folks as too tired
Day 7: Whistler
Well we made it, very short stage, still some epically steep climbing through the whistler ski resort, soooo tired, found today hard, lost some confidence riding past a guy who crashed who couldn't feel his legs!
Sparty went with group one to prove he could have survived without bring chicked, and duly smashed the UCI event winning women's leader and was in top 25....nice
Almost too tired to sleep last night, bring on park later today